Saturday, April 19, 2014

Day 12-Your Never Gonna Be Alone

Today started out good; we got out of camp at 9:10 (getting closer!) and got on our way towards a 12 mile day. We will be having lunch at the Fire Tower, which will make us work for the view. The climb up to the tower was steep and rocky, but since I go slow and steady anyways I preferred the rock wall. Once Lynn and I reached the top we saw Nick, Dave, and some others from the previous shelter. We have reached 100 miles! How exciting! For lunch I had a packet of tuna, packet of olive oil, and a tortilla. Then I had some fruit snacks, and since it was so cold and I was still hungry I took out the jetboil and made some beef ramen. It was so good!!! I decided to try my boots again so I bandaged up my sore, and put them on much looser than normal. My Achilles is still bugging me. During the descend Lynn was out of sight, then Nick passed me, and finally Corey. The discouragement was kicking in; here I am, 25 years old and being left in the dust to some people twice my age. I have a brace or wrap on each knee, and my left ankle is acting up- why am I lagging so much?! Then to add the icing on the cake my left hip flexor started saying hello again which is very uncomfortable! I felt like I was limping the trail. Then one of my favorite Eminem songs came on my iPod;
"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for? When they know they're your heart - And you know you are their armor - And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her."
Instantly I started crying. I miss the baby so much. It is crazy how wrapped around someone you can become after only 8 months and not even a word has been said. I miss my family a lot. I was crying 40% for physical pain and the rest was emotional. Not to mention it is raining by uplifting! I stopped to pee, I stopped to stretch, I stopped to stop. I prayed to God, I talked to myself; and then I saw the privy. And then the shelter; I was finally here. I was beaten and battered, and all I heard was laughter from the shelter. I passed on by; bushwhacked down the hill, and set up my tent in the rain. I got inside, texted my mom with less than 20% battery left, and just wanted to be alone. I don't have water, not to mention I don't even know where the source is- so I made a peanut butter and Nutella tortilla wrap, ate the rest of the fruit snacks, and didn't plan on getting out of my tent. I meditated for awhile, and then laid down to go to sleep. I heard yelling in the woods that made my ears perk, then again I heard something that sounded like my name from an unfamiliar voice. I texted Lynn, Dave, and Nick to let them know I was ok and tenting below and my phone was dying. I didn't want them to leave without me tomorrow since we are finally going into town! Franklin, NC; a shower, clean clothes, food, and a bed! Now I know how bipolar people feel on a daily basis, the Appalachian Trail gives me that luxury!

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